How To Make Your Ex Want You Again – If you do this, your ex can quickly lose interest in you again and leave when he recovers from whatever is making him unhappy.
Therefore, to avoid another loss of attraction and the resulting breakup, you must remember that ex-boyfriends always come back to themselves.
Think about the reasons behind your ex’s words and try to understand why he suddenly wants you back.
Put on your detective fedora hat and find out what went wrong in your ex’s life that made him realize your ability to make him happy.
Did your ex start dating someone else or maybe multiple people and they all left your ex?
If that’s the case, it’s possible that your ex hasn’t yet realized your true potential and the value you bring to the table.
Rather, your ex may be looking for a quick fix to mend his wounded heart and confuse his desperation for love and attraction.
As an outcast who has been to hell and back, you must protect your health and hold on to your former strength for a while.
You need to do this for self-protection – even if it’s been months or years since you heard from your ex.
Your ex probably dated a few men or women before your ex came back into your life.
Therefore, you now need to ruminate for a while to determine if your ex can appreciate you for the person you are and not the people your exes were not.
Today, let’s talk about the things you need to worry about when your ex wants you back.
You should never let your ex casually come back to you and pretend that everything is back to normal.
While you may think your ex is back to normal, the dynamics of your new relationship with your ex will be far from normal.
The dynamic will remain “messy” – exactly the same as when your ex left you weeks or months ago.
So don’t think that they will magically fix themselves after your ex hooks up with you.
Your ex could, of course, fix them if they really wanted to, but the chances of your ex drastically improving your thought patterns while no contact is not very high.
You have to understand that letting go of a person breaks the very foundation on which a loving relationship works.
But quite honestly, time alone doesn’t fix them. Commitment and a healthy relationship mindset does.
The real challenge begins when your ex comes back and you have to deal with broken trust, uncertainty, as well as other complications that “normal” healthy relationships face.
So, if you’re still interested in reconciling, here are some possible reasons why your ex suddenly wants you back.
If you are considering getting your ex back, be prepared to face many internal difficulties, as well as external ones, over which you will likely have little or no control.
As long as you believe in your own ability to forgive your ex’s breach of trust, you can only hope that your ex wants the relationship as much as you do.
The truth is, your ex doesn’t just want the relationship. He or she should want it as much as you do and be willing to do your best to make the new relationship work.
So when your ex wants you back, figuring out their commitment levels should be your first priority.
By finding out how much your ex wants you back, you can make a coherent decision about whether to get back with your ex.
Using this simple self-rating scale can help you determine if your ex wants you back, needs you, or wants you to fill their void.
While crying to your ex and asking for a second chance seems to show more interest, it’s not the ideal behavior you want from your ex.
Your ex crying and begging hysterically could mean that something really went wrong on your ex’s part and your ex now wants you back because of his failure and not for the person you are.
That’s why behavior number 4 on the scale is the most trustworthy and reliable you can get from an ex.
It shows that your ex is serious about you and that he or she wants you as you are.
Although every situation is different, the universal law for getting your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend to stay with you after you reconcile is to remain your ex’s best option.
This means you have to stay confident, strong, respectful, kind, generous and better than ever or your ex might give up on you.
Therefore, you must now make an effort to swallow your pride and let go of any resentment you still feel towards your ex.
By doing this, you will be able to achieve a good balance between giving and receiving love and, as a result, you will know reasonably what to say and do to keep your partner attracted to you.
As an outcast, you have to be very careful not to be too invested in your ex or you can suffocate them and push them away.
You can quickly become very clingy and insecure when you start receiving your ex’s love again, so be aware of their demands and expectations.
Your ex will feel that he cannot return your love with his intensity and will leave you again.
On the other hand, it is also very important that you do not neglect your ex’s needs and take away his meaning and self-esteem.
Instead, do your best to stay confident and give your ex what you couldn’t or couldn’t before.
If you somehow still don’t know what your ex previously needed or didn’t need from you to be emotionally satisfied, you probably haven’t done your job during any contact.
Your focus was probably on getting your ex back so much that you missed the main point of no contact.
In this case, communication with your ex should help you understand where you went wrong and how you can improve on your mistakes.
I strongly suggest that you start working on your shortcomings when your ex gets back to you.
At first, your ex may seem reluctant to talk directly to you about his flaws, but try to convince him that it’s for the good of the relationship.
Tell your ex that your new relationship will greatly benefit from open communication and that you really want to contribute to their happiness as much as you can.
But before doing everything we’ve mentioned so far in this chapter, you need to do something much more important.
You need to tell your ex exactly what bothered/upset you before and what you need him to fix immediately so that you feel valued.
If your ex cheated on you and left you for someone else, you need to be firm and advise him to go to therapy and inspire him to do some soul searching.
You can do this by respectfully encouraging and influencing your ex – instead of threatening and blaming them.
Basically, tell your ex everything you’d like them to change so you don’t find yourself with the same behaviors in the past.
All you have to do is focus on yourself long enough for your ex to show some sort of romantic interest in you.
Remember that when your ex is ready, he will bring up the topic of getting back together, so don’t feel like you have to detect your ex’s hidden reconciliation intentions.
Even if your ex is the shy one and doesn’t have the confidence to confess his love to you, he will try to back off an inch until it becomes clear.
You won’t know anything at all, even if your ex has not broken contact and is now your friend.
When he or she does, you will gain control and dictate the pace and direction of the new relationship.
Still wondering what to do when your ex wants you back? Are you trying hard not to make a mistake and push your ex away? Share your thoughts in the comments section below. Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach Reviewed by Julianne Cantarella, MSW, LSW , Certified Relationship Coach Julianne is a Certified Relationship Coach and Licensed Social Worker. She has 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Julianne’s experience as a relationship and dating coach has been highlighted through her articles in Your Tango, NorthJersey.com, Talk of The Town Magazine and Vue Magazine, to name a few. Learn more about our Review Board
I understand… I’ve been there, I’ve suffered, and now I’m as strong as ever! So I believe I have the perfect set of strategies to help you get your ex back.
Here you will not find unrealistic promises or impractical methods. It is guide based
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